Ep. 77: Creating True Confidence by Understanding What’s Going on in Your Brain with Kara Loewentheil

She gave it all up to become a life coach and help women create true confidence. She is the host of the Unf*ck Your Brain podcast and has a website of the same name. Kara says her law training has helped her coaching practice by making her more analytical. She is also super fun, and your going to love this interview. Kara talks about using small baby steps of positivity. We also talk about the importance of enjoying the journey and always having something to strive for.

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Highlights

[04:27] Kara is a Master Certified Coach. She calls herself a feminist mindset coach, because that is what she focuses on. Even though what she teaches is applicable to everyone.
[04:53] She focuses on helping women create true confidence by understanding what’s going on in their brain, through evolutionary psychology and cognitive coaching skills.
[05:32] Kara also has a podcast called Unf*ck Your Brain. Kara is also a lawyer with a graduate degree from an Ivy League University.
[06:13] She was always looking for that next achievement to make her feel good about herself. She went to Yale, Harvard Law School, and had a courtship on a Federal Appeals Court. Yet, she still didn’t feel confident.
[07:13] She then became an academic and worked on feminist theory and ran a think tank at Columbia. Then she became a life coach. She had to break this to her parents at a party with a lot of people around.
[08:30] Kara had a fellowship at Columbia Law School. She finished her fellowship and then became a life coach.
[09:35] A think tank is writing articles to influence media or government.
[10:46] Kara is extremely analytical because of law school. This allows her to really help her clients.
[12:16] She went to college for four years. Worked for Planned Parenthood for two years. She went to law school for three years and clerked for two. She then litigated for two years. She then did four years of fellowship.
[12:54] It was a huge step for Kara to pivot from her law career.
[14:05] She had been joking about quitting law, moving to Costa Rica, and becoming a life coach for years. The life coach part was true.
[14:53] It’s about changing your thoughts to literally feel less afraid.
[20:41] Kara focuses on neutral or baby step positive thoughts. These are the thoughts that you can actually believe.
[21:28] Human brains like to be efficient. You can’t change a thought pattern by shoving down part of your brain with force. We need to be present with our emotions and thoughts, so we can change them.
[22:50] Practice a baby step thought and get a small pay off. Our brains like rewards.
[25:53] Affirmations have to be believable.
[27:37] Focus less on the how and more on the belief that you can do it. The how will follow from the thought.
[29:32] It’s almost never about the tactics. It’s always the belief.
[30:51] When our brain is scared, we experience confusion.
[36:21] The lesson that Kara has to learn over and over is that it’s not about the destination, it’s the journey. The internal journey is the point of it.
[41:09] Winning means having the freedom to do what Ruth wants.
[42:21] The robot life isn’t available. The best times of our lives are usually after a problem or crisis. Taking away all of the struggle is taking away all of the joy.
[45:04] Learn to love all of it now. Your life becomes joy-filled when you can enjoy the struggle even if it’s not being happy every moment.
[47:59] Humans are happiest when they are striving for something.
[49:02] Alzheimer’s risk in women who work is decreased even if they take time off to have children. It’s important to keep your brain engaged.
[51:07] Engaging your brain is so important.
[52:21] Kara is super fired up about noticing subtle patterns where she is not present in her own experience. Her work is about liberating women all over the world from the inside out. She is also excited about The Clutch where she teaches women how to coach themselves.
[56:08] Your thoughts cause your feelings, and you can change them. this is the biggest thing that Kara has learned.
[57:03] We have so much more control than we think we do. We underestimate what we can do in a year.