Every year, I send out an in-depth survey to find out more about my readers and customers. This survey addresses likes, dislikes, and potential areas of improvements. It also asks respondents to identify the word they would choose as their word of their year. The word that comes up over and over and over is “balance.” We convince ourselves that achieving balance will make us happy, and we’re never quite satisfied with where we are because we never feel like we’ve reached balance.
I’d like to invite you to take a moment to consider a different way of looking at things! What if the idea of balance that we think is desirable and possible is just a myth or fairy tale? What if it’s even a trap that’s designed to hold us back from pursuing our dreams and goals wholeheartedly? Along with this shift in perspective, I’d also like to invite you to realize that being selfish in some ways isn’t a bad thing. Sometimes you have to be selfish to get stuff done!
Sometimes, it feels like succeeding in one area means that you’ll fail in another area. What it’s important to recognize is that sometimes that’s okay! Sometimes you should be failing in one area so that you can succeed in another, because the alternative is being perfectly balanced in our mediocrity.
Tune in to learn more about why ditching the idea of balance is one of the best things you can do for your life.
Highlights
[04:06] – Ruth talks about a survey that she sends out every year in her company, and what it reveals about people’s desire for balance.
[05:53] – For those of us with kids or a family, there’s a special name for the feeling that Ruth has been describing: mom-guilt (or dad-guilt, of course!).
[07:41] – What if that voice that says we aren’t doing enough is lying to us?
[09:33] – As excited as we might feel about reaching new milestones or attaining a goal, the unspoken question is always whether pursuing our own dreams makes us selfish.
[10:49] – There are a few simple guidelines that can help us figure out when to be selfish or selfless.
[13:21] – Ruth believes that we are called from God to use our unique gifts, talents, and strengths to the best of our ability.
[14:38] – The second guideline to keep in mind is that no season lasts forever. Ruth gives examples of seasons from her own life, then points out that these seasons come and go.
[18:55] – The third guideline to remember is that if everything is important, then nothing is important.
[22:02] – Taking the time to identify your priorities is absolutely essential.
[22:52] – How can you be sure that you’ve chosen the right path and your priorities are in order?
[25:22] – It’s important to make the most of your time with your family, because pursuing a dream may mean more time away from your family than you’d like.
[28:15] – There’s one more guideline to keep in mind: it’s okay to make time for yourself.
[32:32] – Ruth points out that it’s time to let go of the guilt and stop telling yourself that you’re failing. Instead, start reminding yourself that balance is overrated!
[33:24] – If you would like the worksheet that goes with this podcast, head to this link or text “overrated” to 44222.
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DIS Podcast 9.. So I have totally enjoyed all your podcasts so far but I have to say this last one about balance. That one was incredible. You spoke right to me.
I am like you and try to do things intentionally. Being a christian as well you pointed out some things like our calling at certain seasons in our life, etc. Just right on. Keep these podcasts going, you are doing a phenomenal job.
I loved this episode too, and it’s a great reminder that it’s OK to be selfish. But… I think it’s an unfair attack on the idea of balance. And I mention it, because I think there’s value in exploring balance. Maybe you could address this topic in a future episode.
To me, and I think many others, balance means determining how much weight to give each part of life, not how to give them equal weight.
Clearly, no one wants to put so much time into their career that they never see their kids, at least not for any great length of time. And no one wants to give so much time to career or kids that there’s no time to refill personal energy. Again, at least not for any great length of time.
But it can be difficult for each individual to determine what the right balance (that is, distribution of weight) is day to day, month to month, and long term.
Balance matters a lot, but it does not mean doing it all at 100% level 100% of the time. I’d love to hear your thoughts on determining this type of balance.
Well I just want to thank you for always giving a New Twist on your topics! Keep up the Great work Ruth🙌
I think this is a real great post.Much thanks again. Really Cool.
Just getting caught up on your podcasts. I can’t seem to find this one. It sounds like just the thing I need to listen to. I hope to see it up soon!
Hi Jill: This is for sure one of my favorites!! https://doitscared.com/episode9/
Why is there no podcast for episode 9?
Hi Rae: Here it is: https://doitscared.com/episode9/
So loved this one Ruth. As always, I love hearing you talk about your relationship with your husband and you both work together even though things may not seem conventional for some. Just hearing you say that your husband may not be gifted in leadership as you are, yet has an incredible gift of wisdom really helped me to realize I need to chill out and stop expecting my husband to always lead us. It ain’t happening! Why do I keep fighting it. I have always been the one to plan everything and go after our goals, why do I get stuck thinking that I’m doing it wrong because he is not leading? I must have had some real faulty teaching way back that I has created a belief system that he must lead for our lives to work. Thanks for the insight and encouragement!
This is all about giving yourself permission. It’s hard, but important.