First of all, I just want to say that talking about these things is a “do it scared” experience for me. For most of us, especially women, it’s hard to talk about our self-confidence (or lack thereof) and our weight. The truth for me is that my weight and body image have been a struggle for a while now, and it’s still scary for me to talk about them.
For the last eight years, my focus has been on work. There are people out there who claim to be able to make bundles of money while working a few hours a week, but I’m not one of those people! I’ve worked a lot. Eventually, all this work paid off! My company is doing great, and I’m so proud of it, but all of this came at a cost. My weight steadily crept upward over these years, and it really started to affect me. I started hiding, both from the world and from myself.
In this episode, I’ll confide in you about the moment that I realized that I had to change, and the very personal journey I’ve been on to lose weight, boost my self-confidence, and improve my body image. I’ll also talk to you about the four steps that have made the difference for me in this journey.
First, you have to find your why that will get you through the unpleasant parts of changing your lifestyle. The second of these steps is to map out a plan for how you’re going to lose weight. Once you’ve done these first two steps, the third step is to create accountability in a way that forces you to follow through. The fourth step is to take action daily. This is a choice that you need to make every single day!
Tune into this episode to learn all of these steps in more detail, and how you can apply them to your own journey to lose weight and strengthen your self-confidence. If you’re ready to be in the best shape of your life and feel better than you have in years, this is the episode for you!
Highlights
[02:12] – Ruth introduces the topic of today’s episode: the connection between body image and self-confidence, and how feeling good about your physical appearance can totally change your outlook on life.
[04:37] – Talking about this very personal topic is a “do it scared” moment for Ruth.
[07:09] – Ruth’s gradual weight gain started to affect her, both in her personal life and in her business.
[09:10] – The week that Ruth weighed herself, between Christmas and New Year’s, is her favorite week because it’s goal week! She set a goal to be in the best shape of her life by her 40th birthday.
[11:12] – Ruth took four key steps this year to make all the difference in her journey to losing weight and improving her body image.
[11:36] – We learn about the first of the four steps that Ruth has mentioned.
[13:51] – If you want to lose weight, there are two things that you really need to do: eat fewer calories and exercise more.
[15:46] – Keep in mind that your “why” might be completely different from Ruth’s, and might be related to saving your relationships or to your career.
[16:27] – Ruth describes the second step in her weight-loss journey.
[19:30] – Step three in Ruth’s plan is to create accountability, which she did in a number of ways.
[21:42] – Ruth gives a second example of a way that she used accountability.
[23:32] – We learn about the fourth and final step in Ruth’s process.
[25:34] – Losing weight is hard and brutal, and it sucks! Even so, it’s definitely worth it.
[27:27] – If you want the worksheet that goes with this episode, head to this link or text “body image” to 44222.
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Ruth, Thank you for this. I have been in EBA for two years and I noticed the recent lack of RUTH online. You’ve been missed!
I totally understand the confidence/body connection. I know that for me, the bigger answers/the bigger truths are found as I focus on the seemingly little “answer” of my body.
I am going to use your four stage worksheet and work on my own goals. I am currently about ten pounds overweight. It’s not much, I know, but that roll of back fat gets in the way of my everything!
I am going to be starting a podcast this week. Because of you, my son and I also created an online course! I will also be writing some books this year. Yes, plural. There is no place for fear here. I will do it and I will do it scared.
I’d like to do a similar podcast to your “episode 11” once my goal weight is achieved.
Great job, girl. Seriously. Great work. You lit a fire.
Hi Ruth. Both you and Cathy Heller are changing my life! I am so grateful to you for this wonderful podcast! Thank you for episode 11. I am at that very point in my life right now. I just started a diet and have lost 24lbs. I can’t tell you how much better I feel already. Just lighter and happier. Your podcast have given me some tools to see this though. So thank you for that! I wish you only happiness and success!
Ruth,
I was listening to your podcast on the way to my yearly physical. I had the realization that I too have been limiting myself due to my weight. My business is doing video reviews on products. How in the world can I do my business if I don’t want to take pictures or go “live” on social media because I hate the image that appears. This gave me the courage to talk about a weight loss strategy with my doctor. Thank you for speaking your truth, you have no idea how much your podcast changes lives. Thank you so much!
Hi Ruth! I wonder if you are aware of a book called The Four Tendencies, by Gretchen Rubin? It is all about a fascinating personality framework that relates to how people respond to expectations, be they inner or outer expectations.
I don’t want to give many spoilers, because it is an eye-opening experience to find it all out on your own. But one of the points is that accountability – one of the steps you mention in this episode – is only helpful to *some* people, and not to everyone. For a large population group, external accountability is actually something counterproductive, that brings out a lot of resistance – which in turn those people would need to work very hard to overcome.
Another point I wanted to mention is related to your assertion that the mechanism for losing weight is ingesting fewer calories than we burn. I think that unfortunately that is a very misleading oversimplification, when there is so much being discovered about other very important factors that affect our weight gain or weight loss, such as the state of our hormones, or – crucially – chronic stress.
I’m afraid that for many people simply applying your four steps, without a deeper understanding of how their personality works in relation to expectations, and without first resolving their underlying health and chronic stress issues, will lead to more frustration and discouragement rather than success.
And finally, my last concern listening to this episode was to hear about how you exercised, repeatedly, to the point of throwing up, and continued to exercise on top of a stress fracture. That was downright scary, and I must confess that it has put me off wanting to follow your podcast and website, first because I feel like I cannot identify with someone who would do this to herself and think it’s a good thing, and second because I’m really worried about how many people will feel crushed by the idea that that’s what they’re supposed to do to ‘crush’ their goal.
I’m afraid that sounded quite harsh! 😯 I really don’t want to hurt your feelings! 💕 I just hope that this feedback will help give you some pause to reconsider those points, and especially to think about how diverse people and their circumstances are, and how oversimplification can be a dangerous thing indeed.
With lots of love and respect,
Mari
I am right there with you Ruth. I have done the exact same thing doe the last 4 years. Working 10 to 12 hour days, 7 days a week all sitting at my desk or on the couch. It all hit me this past month when I was on vacation and couldn’t keep up with my teenage boys. I am excited to say that I have reclaimed my health and wellness, and I’m already on an awesome Journey where I’m taking back the responsibility of taking care of myself. I’m excited to say as well that I have lost 6 pounds in the first eight days and it’s only going to get better from here. I applaud you for sharing your thoughts and your experiences as it will help other people grow. I personally have dedicated a entire portion of my blog to my journey. It’s my #journey2_160 and it’s amazing to post every single day and share with my followers the successes, the struggles and the happiness that I’m feeling each and every day. Thanks Ruth!
Thank you very much for this podcast. A few things resonated with me: (1) You hate exercise but you just do it. (2) Your self-image was affecting your relationships. (3) Have a plan. As I approach 50 next month, I’m realizing I am not in shape and I overeat. My mortality is staring me in the face. Immediately after listening to this podcast, I started working on a plan to lose weight; eat more whole food, plant-based meals; and exercise more (implementing the Younger Next Year workout plan). I have tried times before to get on the exercise routine and to stop overeating but have not stuck with it. I know it has only been a week since I started on this new journey, but this time I’m coming up with a plan that has stretch goals and that plans for the obstacles such as winter weather (I live in Montana). As you have described in other podcasts my why – to be that 80/90 year old that moves like and has the energy of a 20/30-year-old (think Mick Jagger and Dick VanDyke) – is bigger than my fear of not being able to move, being unhealthy, exercising in inclement weather, and my dislike of exercising. This is just what I have to do! Thank you Ruth!!!
Great content, thank you. But wouldn’t it be better not to keep telling yourself all the time that losing weight or exercise is “brutal”, “sucks” “so hard”, etc?