EP 31: Embracing Honest Feedback (Even When it Hurts)

Today, I’ll talk about something that makes a lot of us at least a little bit uncomfortable: conflict. Not just any conflict, but being willing to hear dissenting points of view and seeking out constructive criticism and honest feedback in order to grow. We all know that critical feedback isn’t always easy or fun to hear, and our world often seems more polarizing than ever. But we can all stand to practice learning how to disagree with respect and love.

We’re all familiar with this general story: someone makes a quick ascent to fame and fortune, then an equally quick downfall (whether it’s drug abuse, marital infidelity, or just a lot of really bad choices). A serious lack of accountability is the one common denominator across all these stories. Bad decisions happen when there’s no voice of reason!

Take lottery winners, for example. A shocking number of them end up going broke after winning multi-million dollar prizes, often even declaring bankruptcy within a decade. In fact, it’s much harder to find stories about people who use huge lottery winnings responsibly than those who blow through all their newfound wealth. If you’re wondering what this has to do with you, here’s the answer: we humans are fundamentally flawed and predisposed to make really stupid decisions in the absence of boundaries.

What does this mean? We absolutely need to have people around who love us enough to call us out when we’re going down a bad path, and who we can trust enough to receive honest feedback from. And our loved ones need honesty and feedback from us too! With that said, it’s not always easy to accept the things that we don’t want to hear.

Tune into the episode to learn the two simple but essential steps to opening up to more of this valuable feedback in your life, why the lack of conflict in my amazing team was actually making our work suffer, and why controversy can be incredibly important, even necessary.

Highlights

[02:10] – Ruth introduces today’s topic, which revolves around honest feedback, constructive criticism, and conflict.
[04:02] – We hear about a news story that Ruth read recently about a motivational speaker’s divorce.
[06:15] – In 2015, Laura and Roger Griffiths won the lottery. A few years later, they were bankrupt. Ruth digs more into why this kind of thing happens so frequently to lottery winners.
[09:44] – Ruth talks about the harder-to-find stories of people who won the lottery and actually made good decisions.
[10:48] – What do these stories about lottery winners have to do with you?
[13:46] – Ruth offers advice on how to open yourself up to getting more honest feedback in your life.
[17:54] – We hear more about how Ruth and her husband trust each other despite their very different strengths and ways of doing things.
[20:28] – Ruth is lucky to have a handful of friends who know her almost as well as her husband does; those are the people she trusts to lovingly tell it to her straight no matter what.
[21:38] – The second step in Ruth’s process is to encourage constructive conflict. We hear more about this, as well as a surprising problem in Ruth’s team.
[25:52] – A little bit of conflict and controversy is necessary sometimes, Ruth points out.
[28:32] – Ruth loves hearing from listeners! If you have a story, questions, guest requests, or anything similar, please reach out to her via email at doitscared.com!