This entire show is about pushing ahead in spite of fear. Today’s guest may just be a kindred spirit, because she is the author of The Courage Habit: How to Accept Your Fears, Release the Past, and Live Your Courageous Life. Kate Swoboda is a life coach, author, creator of Your Courageous Life and Director of the Courageous Living Coach Certification Program.
Today, we talk about Kate’s method of interrupting fear and replacing it with one of the four courage habits. We have a great discussion about the science and psychology behind fear and how our philosophies have many similarities. Kate has a passionate and interesting outlook on the topic. She also shares how she had an eye-opening moment that got her to where she is today.
There are so many parallels between the work Kate is doing and the things that we talk about here at Do It Scared. She has so much insight to share, not just on what it means to be courageous, but how to actually practically apply the habit of being courageous to your life on a daily basis.
[04:42] Kate was a teacher who wanted to spend the summer in Italy. She did odd jobs and everything possible to make the trip.
[05:34] She mentioned her trip on social media and someone responded that “not everyone can go to Italy”, she calls this the great gift because she knew that this person made more income than her and lived where the cost of living was way less than San Francisco where Kate lived.
[06:26] In that moment, it hit Kate that she had been willing to take the risk to lean into discomfort.
[06:39] Courage and leaning in and doing what you want. It’s not like you wait until you’re not afraid anymore, you do it scared.
[07:03] We can consciously choose how we live.
[09:46] The Italy trip was where Kate made her decision about courage. Transformation is when we feel the fear and do it anyway.
[10:42] We need to feel our fear instead of constantly trying to tamp it down.
[11:16] The Courage Habit is a four-part process for being with fear.
[11:36] Fear is a risk management wound that tells us not to do stuff.
[12:03] It’s not helpful to avoid fear, placate fear, or to attack it.
[12:23] You can create a courage habit by interrupting your fear habit and replacing it with these behaviors.
[12:29] These behaviors include accessing the body and getting into your feelings, listening without attachment, reframing limiting stories, and reaching out and creating community.
[15:14] Habits in the brain work on a cue, routine, and reward loop.
[17:16] Perfectionism, people-pleasing, pessimism, and self-sabotage are some of our fear avoidance behaviors.
[23:48] Anyone can change a habit. You have to be able to spot the habit before you know what you can change.
[25:03] The process of accessing the body is about how fear is primal and we feel it in our bodies. This could be meditation or conscious crying.
[28:19] Anger discharge is screaming or hitting into pillows.
[29:39] Listening without attachment or stop abusing your fear. Don’t abuse your internalized critic. Don’t talk to yourself the way you wouldn’t let a teacher talk to your child.
[34:00] Reframing limiting stories is being willing to look at your options. Reframe into something positive or find information to get there.
[36:22] Reach out and create community. Community can be anyone who shows up and supports your vision. Fear thrives in isolation.
[37:19] You are more likely to achieve a goal even when other people just know about it.
[39:51] Kate has fear of business stuff like managing a team, sales slowing, having a bad launch that impacts someone else’s bottom line. When these fears come up, she keeps going back to the tools and the process.
[43:35] The most courageous thing anyone can do is let the truth of who they are on the inside be how they live on the outside.
[45:41] Kate keeps people around her who know who she truly is. She also meditates daily. She also exercises.
[48:03] Kate is working on sitting in an in between space.
[50:09] Don’t take it personally.
[52:46] Reach out to me by email at Ruth@RuthSoukup.com or through Instagram.